4/14-4/21: No-chella

This week: MS MR, Deorro, Grouplove, Bastille, Ellie Goulding, Glitch Mob, Flume, Zedd, Caravan Palace, Outkast, Chvrches, Kid Cudi, Capital Cities, Dillon Francis, RL Grime, Fatboy Slim, Empire of the Sun, Pharrell Williams, Skrillex, Muse, Flight Facilities, STRFKR, Classixx, Rudimental, Krewella, Alesso, Calvin Harris, Lana Del Ray, Disclosure, and Netsky.

Oh. Shit. You aren’t going to Coachella. My b.

Still, staying in DC this week has potential. You get sunshine, tourists, tourists, cherry blossoms, tourists…and Cazzette!


Tuesday- Black Milk with Nat Turner. Black Milk is a hip hop producer and MC but also does live beat work and works with an MPC. Motherfucking Shake Beats..but black!

Wednesday-Moombathon Massive with the local Nadastrom et al.

Thursday-Kill Paris and Candyland. Kill Paris is teaming with Mat Zo a little later, so this is your chance to see him just do his thing, his future-funk-style with sweet guitar riffs and wompy remixes.

Friday- Mark Farina. 10 doll hairs. He created mushroom jazz! Yeah…not sure about that either.

Saturday- Jacques Greene and Tittsworth. Hahaha tittsworth.

Sunday- Jungle joint, brought to you by potheads united.

Art Department, Jack Beats, Lane 8, Pegboard Nerds, Chromeo, Schlomo, Mo (with a strike through the O…not sure how to do that), Kygo, Atrack, and Flume. The only new thing I want to remind you all of is mo with the strike through. I listened to them all weekend. Such Happiness:

https://soundcloud.com/momomoyouth/m-say-youll-be-there yeah. Spice girls, man.


9:30 Club

Wednesday- Pat Green. He has a grammy! I think its country music, so…ew.

Monday, 21st– Boy George. So that’s kind of cool

Otherwise, ALL THE SOLD OUT THINGS. But interesting stuff including but not limited to Rusted Root, Zomboy, La Roux, MS MR, A-Track (as aforementioned in the UHall section), and Xavier Rudd



Friday- Cazzette w/Swanky Tunes, the latter of which I’m actually a much bigger fan of. But Cazzeette also does a great show.

Saturday- Carl Cox. I STILL DON’T GET IT.

James would like us all to go to Carnage on 5/10. And when James tells me to do things, I feel this irrational need to do it because he is so goddamn charming. So…Carnage? Sweet. Lezzgo. Unless you got tickets to Sweeetlife, in which case: have fun with Lana.

Also, Paris Hiltonhttp://www.dcclubbing.com/dc-concerts/paris-hilton-at-echostage-5-9-14/

I’m pretty stoked for Phoenix and Gareth Emery.



Thursday- DVBBS, with their song “This is dirty”which goes dadada dadada dadada dada dada. Another song called tsunami which goes dadadada dada dada dada dada da. Another song called immortal which goes da da dadadada da da dadadada da da dadadada but then they add a trap beat so it goes dadadada dada dada dada boom kick boom dadadada.

Other Stuff

Wednesday- Rufus Wainwright @the Lincoln theater

Thursday- We Are Scientists @Black Cat. I used to listen to them in High school because I was that cool in High School

There’s also this Thank You Festival that I’ve gotten more details on. Good things: Tiesto! Above and Beyond! And the Krew! Bad things: Its at Merryweather, it’s on a Thursday 6/26, lawn is 45 and pavilion is 75. Merp.


In summary: Get Kygo, Lane 8, and Flume tickets (uhall website). Maybe Carnage tickets (echo). stubhub has Phoenix tickets.

I’ll snap you from Coachella! YO SKRILLZZZZZZZZZZZ wait shit I have to get to Muse.





Russell Brand ‏@rustyrockets  26 May 2011

#everymanshouldknowhowto readsentenceswithnospacesinthem.”


Wednesday- Shiftee. #Duptrap #HEAVY; He’s a Harvard math grad, dancefloor destroyer, and sandwhich connoisseur

Thursday- The Hood Internet #hiphop #disco #ihavenoidea

Friday- Timmy Regisford #soulhouse #technojazz; $10 but free before 11

Saturday- REV909 #daftpunktributeband

Sunday- Singularity + Mutrix https://soundcloud.com/singularity/dreamland-singularity-mutrix

And contemplate thinking about: Kill Paris + Candyland, Art Departmnt, Lane 8 (no more Chvrches but Lane 8 is still dope), Baths, Claude VonStroke, Jack Beats, Pegboard Nerds, Chromeo, Schlomo, Kygo (tickets on sale Wednesday!), A-track, Flume

** I suggest: Lane 8, Kygo, Chromeo, A-track, and Flume. #doit



Tuesday- Cash Cash #freebeer

Friday- Rick Ross. It’ll probably be a lot of black people like that time we went to see Pusha T…

Annndddd coming up still: Cazzette w/Swanky Tunes, Carl Cox, Borgore + Chuckie, MIA + Asap Ferg, Thomas Gold w/Fehrplay, Carnage, Benny Benassi, Kill the Zo, Phoenix, Gareth Emery w/Michael Woods



Thursday- Manufactured Superstars

Later is DVBB (ttsssuuuuunammmmiiiii badadada dada dada dada dada dada da), Rebecca and Fiona, Arnej, Arty, Deniz Koyu. Fun stuff.


Most of this week- things I am unfamiliar with. EXCEPT:

Friday- Flight Facilities #craveyou #vibes #chilllelectro; This will 100% sell out. Tickets are $20 and still available but if this something you wanna do, get on it.

Saturday- Bro Safari #theresnoagelimitsoiwouldstayaway #teenravers



Wednesday- The Wanted @Silver Spring #gladyoucame haha that’s what she said

Thursday- Miley Cyrus @ Verizon Center. #Bangerz

Saturday- Dirty Jacks @ Velvet Lounge #thatplaceonUstreet #nickfitzmanagment

ALSO Saturday- Avicii! JK he got sick. Postponed till june

ALSO Saturday- the miracles of modern science @ tropicalia #we’retoodrunktoknowwhosplayingsoitreallydoesntmatter

#NP: https://soundcloud.com/flicflac/flicflac-bearson-pictures

#NP: https://soundcloud.com/tm-radio-mixes/kygo-diplo-and-friends-23-mar-2014

❤ drugs, man. drugs.

Saturday in the Gardens

This Saturday I made a pilgrimage to the Sarah P. Duke Gardens in Durham, NC. The purpose of this little adventure was some introspection, pursuit of innovations, and maybe a tan. It ended up being a marvelous journey through the senses and beyond. While much of it I can’t explain in the interwebs, what I can give you is a rundown of the music and visual experience I stumbled upon.

Around 3 in the afternoon, I spotted a group of shirtless dudes crowded around a hookah in the same grassy knoll that I had been occupying. I waltzed over, plopped myself down, and announced that I would be joining them. While hesitant at first, when I pulled the portable speaker out of my bag they declared that I was in.

Now the guy next to me, as I soon discovered, is my own personal musical jesus. I’m attatching his soundlou username at the bottom in case you want to do more exploring. But aside from his massive collection of all my favorite sounds, here is a selection of those tracks that stood out in my memory of the afternoon:


CHECK THIS DUDE: cgu101 on soundcloud

Deadmau% Trend Report

I’ve finally caught up on sleep after the 7am night we had post above & beyond, and the subsequent 7am night from that wild party Saturday (let’s just pretend, okay?). Obama care happened, sunshine happened, and only one of those is going to survive the week. Joel Zimmerman proved that he is a dickwad, a narcissist, and a talented motherfucker. According to Twitter, Martin Garrix wants to sue him but that could just be some April Fools thing.

Also, one of the top google searches today is ” Deadmau%”. You can’t capitalize a 5, you guys. But nice try.

Thankfully, FUN THINGS are imminent. And thank god you have me to tell you about them.



Friday- DMX

Saturday- Nervo and R3hab (R#hab lolololol)

Upcoming: Cash Cash, Cazette w/Swanky Tunes, Carnage and GTA, Carl Cox (the legend… I still don’t get it), Borgore + Chuckie, MIA (all I wanna do is PEW PEW PEW PEW) with A$AP Ferg, Thomas Gold and Santa’s BFF, Benny Benassi, Kill the Zo, and Phoenix.



Thursday- Blasterjaxx. They need the extra x to make up for the lack of talent

And because we ALL look forward to things at Ultrabar; Manufactured Superstars, DVBBS, Rebecca and Fiona, Deniz Koyu + Danny Aliva (worth getting tickets for, in my opinion)



Tuesday- GOLDFISH. They play live stage at Ultra every year. Groovy as shit and hard to google…

Wednesday- UZ. Trap. Not U2, Raasti….

Thursday- HeRobust. Trap, influenced by Gramatik as opposed to Trap, influenced by 2chainz

Friday- Mano Le Tough. Dis German Haus Bra.

Saturday- Grandmaster Flash. Hip Hop DJ from da Bronx. He’s got a 90’s rap artist kinda sound but he’s supposed to be innovative.

Upcoming: AN21 (younger sibling of Steve Angello, so if he plays Don’t You Worry Child I might punch him in the face. Just kidding I still love that song), Singularity, Kill Paris + Candyland, Claude VonStroke, Art Deparment, Jack Beats, Pegboard Nerds, Chromeo, Schlomo, Flume.

ALSO: CHVRCHES is doing a DJ set! Tickets go onsale at the end of the week. Lane 8 is opening for them.

***I would say get Kill Paris, Flume, and Chvrches tickets, but otherwise not too much sellout probability.



Tuesday- Grouplove with MS MR and Smallpools

Friday- Kraftwork. ALL the dance music from the past decade

Saturday- Gramatik. Obviously sold out, which is a shame because I wanted to smoke a joint and chill in the corner with my shades on.

Sunday- Shpongle. Why does that name remind me of a breed of dog?

Get tickets to: Flight Facilities and A-Trak…but zat seems to be it.


Tuesday- Childish Gambino @Filmore

Wednesday- W.C. Lindsay and Broken Gold @ Blackcat. Described as “the Beastie Boys watching The Breakfast Club at Warped Tour.”

Thursday- Dullard Aardvark @Velvet Lounge. Besides taking note of how awesome that name is, its supposed to be  trap retake of some electro DJ named Ramtin Arablouei…yeah not going either.

ALSO on Thursday- Norin and Rad at Lima Lounge

Friday- Cher @ Verizon

Coming up: Sweetlife! Fall Out Boy! Queen (<- ummm what?), Phish! Do some drugs and chill with the Phish Phanatics!

Enjoy all the ultra sets and the harry potter marathon that has apparently been taking over television.


“I solemnly swear that I’m up to no good”